“That’s just the way men are”

I’m sure every woman that has a significant other who is male has heard those words when venting to her friends about the most current thing your man has done.

You  hear it all the time. He doesn’t pick up after himself? Its a man thing. He doesn’t help you with the kids? Its a man thing. He isn’t considerate of your feelings? Its a man thing. And it goes on and on….

I know this is going to piss off some people, but that’s ALL B.S!

If you constantly have a man that is doing all those things and doesn’t think there is anything wrong with it, or isn’t trying to change his ways, he is a dud. Full on dud.

Are they allowed to have bad days? Of course they are. Even the best husbands, boyfriends and friends are going to have days, weeks, months even, where they are just having a bad day and you feel the need to tell them to take a chill pill. But its not a constant thing and you know it will get better because he is a good man.

This is what a good man looks like:

*He works hard to make sure his family is taken care of. Whether its going to work, being a stay at home dad, or is constantly gone so that you and the kids can have food on the table and a house over your head.

*He helps you as much as he can around the house. He gets home from a hard days work and instead of ignoring you and the kids, he actually HELPS you. That may be getting the kids out of your hair long enough so that you can get dinner made, playing with the kids, taking them out and about so you can have some me time, or just doing all he can so that later that night you can actually sit down and relax.  Does he do this every night? Not necessarily, but when he doesn’t help you know its because he is beyond exhausted and because its such a rare thing, it doesn’t bother you. Again, you know he is a good man.

*When you tell him that something is wrong, he LISTENS to you. Will he always “get” you, or even understand what has you so upset? No, but he will try to help you fix whatever you need fixing and will listen when you need to talk. He might just hold you and have nothing to say to help, but he will be there for you.

*He respects you. That shouldn’t take any explaining. If he doesn’t RESPECT you, there is something really wrong.

and finally:

He loves you with all his heart. He may not say it all the time, but you know he loves you. It shows in his actions, his words, his intent and the way he treats you from day to day.

I feel like in this day and age, women are just settling. They hear it all the time that that is just how men are and they never realize that they deserve SO much better.

What I just described is not some mythical creature that you will never find in a man. He is real and they are everywhere, you just have to LOOK and not settle for just any Joe shmo. Now I’m not saying to look for perfection, because no human man is perfect. But he should be PERFECT for you. He should make you feel beautiful, respected, loved and cared for.

He should be the kind of man that you know would do anything for you and his family.

I mean that ladies. Your man should be your personal hero. He doesn’t necessarily have to jump in front of a bullet for you, but he should be willing to do whatever he can for you. Because Love truly is a Verb (http://popchassid.com/didnt-love-wife/). He should be showing you with with his actions everyday that he loves you and it should be growing.

Please ladies, don’t settle. Find the man out there for you that WILL help you around  the house! Its so important to not just find a man to spend your life with, but to find a partner in all things, a best friend, and than finally a lover.

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The things I love about Pregnancy

There are so many posts out there with women complaining about pregnancy. And I seriously get it, I have easy pregnancies compared to most women and other women have a legitimate reason to be unhappy. I don’t get morning sickness so bad that I can’t keep anything down, and I really don’t have GH, so I can’t relate to those poor women. But there are some things I think we all can relate to when it comes to the GOOD about pregnancy. Here are a few that I personally love:

*Maternity clothes: they are literally like pj’s! Have any of you EVER been uncomfortable in  maternity pants? I mean seriously, there is always the last few weeks of pregnancy where nothing feels good, but those pants are super nice.

*The feeling of your baby moving within you. Yes, when they are super big and are literally  making your stomach move like there is an alien inside, it can sometimes be really weird. But otherwise, the feeling of your baby moving within is the biggest blessing and the most amazing feeling out there. I love feeling my little girl kick, it makes my heart happy.

* For those women with small breasts: the sudden increase in size. You suddenly go from a A cup to a C cup or even beyond that! Your suddenly getting attention that you normally didn’t and if you have a boyfriend or husband, they are SUPER happy about the change. LOL

* Amazingly soft hair. Now not all of us preggo ladies get this, but I did with Elenore. (not with River…) I was amazed with the softness, fullness and just overall amazing hair that I had while pregnant. My hair was great!

*The joy of looking at your baby and hearing its heartbeat for the first time on the ultrasound screen. You can’t imagine how much you instantly love that little blip on the screen. It may look like an alien or as my husband called River, “a star ship enterprise”, but you know what it is and you instantly fall in love with that little person inside of you. Than they let you hear the heartbeat. Words cannot describe the feelings you have when you hear that little and fast heartbeat. Everything becomes SO real to you than. You have a little person growing inside of you.

* Finding out the gender and the extreme joy of being able to call that little person inside of you by name. Each time with my children, I instantly wanted to cry when they told me what they were. I, myself, was blessed with two little girls and loved saying “Hello Elenore” and “Hello River”. My poor husband did cry and than instantly said “what am I going to do with TWO girls?!?!”

*The first cry from your child. The moment when you first hear and set eyes on your tiny bundle of joy. Nothing can describe what you feel when you meet them in person for the first time. Equal parts extreme joy, love and fear. You have to care for this little one now!